More than two-thirds of parents in the UK fear that that they will find their child leaving for university ‘emotionally difficult’ according to new research published today.
The study, undertaken by the University of Sheffield, highlights the worries of many parents as children around the country settle into the first few weeks of university life. Forty per cent of parents questioned said they believe they will miss their child more than their child will miss them.
Concern for the safety and well-being of children came out as the number one issue (49 per cent), while many parents worried about the family home feeling empty (43 per cent). Fears over children feeling lonely were next (37 per cent), with worries about financial management close behind (36 per cent).
In addition, a third of parents even worried that their child going to university meant that their time as a parent would be coming to an end. Commenting on the study, Debora Green, head of Student Support and Guidance at the University of Sheffield, said:
“This research show just how tough the first few weeks of university can be for parents and that the empty nest feeling can be emotionally very difficult. Students have the excitement of new experiences and new people to ease feelings of homesickness – but the parents are left with the empty home. They also know that they can rely on family for support, even if they don’t ever ask for it.”
Ms Green has given her top tips for parents to make the transition as easy and worry free as possible.
- Take practical steps with your children to ensure you are confident they are prepared. Whether it’s shopping with them for basic kitchen equipment or making sure they have the right stationery, it can help your peace of mind.
- If the student has had health or psychological difficulties (e.g. depression, an eating disorder) in their teens or ever been diagnosed with dyslexia, dyspraxia etc, DO encourage them to share this information with the relevant service in the University. Starting university can be stressful and old issues can recur. There will be lots of help available, provided in confidential settings.
- Stay in contact with your children – but don’t overdo it. You want them to feel they have all your support if they need it, but you need to recognise they need space to go it alone.
- Help out your children with practical tools they can use: a printed weekly budget sheet for example – see our online money planner www.shef.ac.uk/moneyplanner. They may not use it all the time, but you’ll be confident you’ve helped them out as much as you can. If you haven’t already taught them how to shop economically, now’s the time!
- Make sure that they know how to cook at least two dishes that they like – at least then you know they can look after their stomach.
- Remember that universities invest in lots of services to help students: at Sheffield we have a university health service, residential mentoring support, a counselling service, front line information and advice based in the Students’ Union building, a multi-faith chaplaincy and personal tutoring support… It’s hard to let go, but they are in safe hands.
Ms Green said: “Parents need to remember: parenting doesn’t end at this stage, it only changes.”
